Firstly, we shouldn’t assume being meaner equates to only verbal mean-ness or to degradation. While it is wonderful that your partner feels safe enough to communicate what she would like verbally in bed, you still only have a fraction of the information. It’s unfortunate and wrongheaded, but at this point, not enough of a cultural aberration to qualify as weird, per se. You could persuasively label that biphobia (since it’s based on stereotypes, assumptions, and, like, Chasing Amy), but I’m not sure it’s “weird.” Seems fairly common and certainly is much discussed. I’m not sure that there’s data on this, but I’ve heard anecdotes similar to yours throughout the years, and I assume it’s in response to the prevalent stereotype of a “lesbian until graduation”-the idea that women will, for a period of time generally early on in their adult sexual lives (like in college), experiment with women before settling back down with men. That could be a sign of connection, or it could be her presenting the common anxiety of being left for a man. It’s not clear whether you were explicit about your hankering during your initial conversation about opening up-if you didn’t mention your interest in dick, she’s impressively tapped in to your unstated motivation. While being open remains in the conceptual stage, your craving for dick is as crucial to your negotiations as her wariness of it.